1P Start

I don’t know what the problem is. Why is it so hard to make a Transformers game? You have giant robots that turn into cars and shoot laser beams. The game basically sells itself. Well, they have managed to rub the Transformer franchise a little bit further into the ground by the latest release of Transformers: The Battle for the Allspark. This online game lets players compete to win prizes, gain access to exclusive game and movie news, and pretty much waste 10 minutes of your life.

You can play the game for free HERE, but I wouldn’t. Unless you are wearing Transformers underoos as you are reading this, you might want to steer clear of this one. You can see my initial impressions by checking below.

You must register to play, and after doing so you are told to pick between the Autobots or the Decepticons. Once you pick a side, you are given a choice of 7 different robots, each with unique powers and attributes. My robot “Evil Voltron” was a Decepticon who, by his picture, could transform into a 1986 Honda Civic.

Then you are given a choice of a bunch of different “zones” around the world to fight in, where it tells you how many players of each side are competing. The zones change colors based on the team with the most wins in that area, with a graphic that shows you the total wins and losses for your side.

After picking a zone, you are placed on a hexagonal board, that illustrates all current robots in an area. To fight, all you do is pick a hexagon containing an enemy robot, and the fight begins. That’s when the game goes from “meh” to “bleh”, almost instantaneously. The actual game plays like a dumbed-down version of Pokemon. Each robot has 2 attacks, along with a third ability that either de-buffs your opponent, or buffs your own attributes.

The winner is basically whoever is randomly selected to miss their attacks the least. Yep, that’s it. That’s the whole game. They took laser-shooting robots and turned them into a rock-paper-scissors snore fest. Optimus Prime! I choose you! While you can win some decent prizes for playing, the prize for NOT playing this game seems the best one of all.

Transformers, Movie, Web