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John Connor Sucks at Gears of War

by Paul

On Monday night’s Sara Conner Chronicles (the Terminator TV show) future savior John Connor was forced to play a game of Gears of War 2 against some d-bag at a party. At first it looked like John Connor would win, I mean how could he not? He’s responsible for saving all of humanity in the future robot wars. If anyone would know how to kick ass in a war simulation, it would be John Conner. Unfortunatly, young Mr. Connor needs to bone up on his video game playing skills, because he got his ass seriously handed to him. You didn’t really get to see the curb stomping he suffered, but a Gears of War player knew what was going on due to the embarrassing squish noise that accompanied young Connor’s defeat.

I demand more out of our future saviors. How can we expect to be lead away from the robo death camps by someone who can’t win a single round of Gears of War? No, I want my techno-Jesus to be able to both blow up a HK plant and complete all the Horde levels by himself on Insane difficulty.

If you don’t think that playing video games is a good skill for John Conner to have, then let me ask you this: What if they broke into a factory and found out they could control a super HK tank remotely? Would you rather have the savior of mankind piloting that robot tank or some scrub that just happened to make it past the hundreds of T-800s based on luck and Connor’s guidance? Sarah Connor needs to buy her son an XBox and get him training!

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Posted in The Funnies, Xbox 360 on December 3rd, 2008

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One Response to “John Connor Sucks at Gears of War”

  1. Tim Reynolds Says:
    December 7th, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    Nice post. Thank you for the info. Keep it up.

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